This feeling deep inside
And I lay awake…
Starting into the deep abyss I once encountered…the abyss of emptiness …
but this time im staring in and im not worried , I’m not lost…I know right where I am… I’m where I belong for now..
I’ve messed up over the past few years.. I’ve messed up alot.. Lied , stolen , got someone pregnant..fought , fucked up big time…all that time I spent empty .. I was there for a reason…and now I’m paying the rest of my time off now….
Maybe in a few years time ill be properly happy , but i think right now life is giving me a hint to get away from society … give up… and set your stones for later on in life…
there’s alot I don’t want to give up though.. I’m never gonna leave my best mates , Ill still always love her no matter how fucked up it is in reality.. Still gonna be the same happy smile on the outside when you see me…
End of the day is …im never smiling properly …I’m NEVER just fine……
I will never be fine , and I probably wont smile for a long time…
Odds are after this week ends I’m going back into the old me…solitude all year round..
And it’s no ones fault …I just need to sort out my life ..
